If you are thin, you aren't "Real".

I rarely watch TV, but due to the complete lack of work in my job I do read a lot of news stories.

Today this one has caught my attention, and it is a subject that has infuriated me for a while now.

A model, Ann, on the America's Next Top Model (ANTM) series has caused outrage among women around the world due to her tiny (and I mean TINY) waist. She has boasted that she does in fact have the "world's smallest waist", and in the picture you can see a man with his hands around her middle and his fingers do touch very easily.

Women's website Twirlit has condemned ANTM saying they should not have allowed Ann on their show, that having her on there is sending the wrong image to kids, also accusing her of having an eating disorder.

EXCUSE ME?

Look at the picture. Yes, her waist is unusually small, but the rest of her body looks healthy to me. Since when does an eating disorder only affect your waist?

In fact I bet my fiance could do the same with his hands around my waist and the only eating disorder you could accuse me of having is one of eating too much! ITS CALLED A METABOLISM PEOPLE.

I am absolutely sick to death of this new term "Real Women" the media keeps throwing around.

I am petite NATURALLY. I am in no way unhealthily small and many of the women in magazines aren't either. Of course I agree that stick-thin catwalk models who starve themselves almost to death should never be role-models, but there are girls in the world who are thin due to genetics and apparently this is unbelievable to a lot of people.

How are we helping young girls to feel good about themselves when all I seem to hear about is how "Real Women" have fat in unwanted places, wrinkles and big thighs.

Umm.. I don't. Apparently I am not a real woman. I have curves, but they are in proportion to my size, which I'll remind you, is SMALL.

I really am disgusted by women and magazines etc who say thin women are setting a bad example for young girls. How about being a bit more realistic and saying you won't buy or publish magazines who promote unhealthy eating instead of trying to set the world against thin models.

Saying Ann shouldn't be a part of a TV show because her waist is "too small" means that all the young girls out there who have a similar body are now going to feel like circus freaks, instead of seeing someone who has the same shape excel in her career and possibly become a great role-model for them.

You can't preach for girls to accept their bodies, then go and say that if someone's body is small there is something wrong with them.

Girls, if you are unhealthy - change it, but all shapes can be gorgeous if you know how to dress to suit yours.

The Emotional Task of Hairdressing

I liken getting my hair cut to skydiving.

First there is the excitement.
I picture myself walking out with gorgeous, shimmering, bouncy locks and everywhere I walk flowers open at my feet.

Then as the time of my appointment nears, terror starts to set in.
What if they accidentally cut a huge chunk out of my hair and then to even it out they cut chunks out of the rest? What if its so bad they end up shaving my head?! They could very easily cut too much!
What if, God forbid, they cut too little?!! And I am left with a huge bill and no difference!! What if it is TOO bouncy?!


I am working myself into a sweat. Lets move on.



Now my usual salon isn't great. Its not bad, but every time I go there I go home saying I'll never go there again, I'll find someone new and fantastic. And then I book another appointment.



Last night the most horrible thing happened. I caught my hairdresser being unfaithful.

RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES.

She didn't even try to hide it, I mean, she looked right into my eyes and continued to cut someone else's hair.

ON MY TIME.

I don't understand it - we'd never so much as had a disagreement in all the 35 minutes I had known her. I admit I wasn't overly chatty, but I was TIRED! I suppose I noticed that she washed my hair in silence, but then she massaged my head so passionately that I assumed we were exclusive.
Next thing I know, I am in a chair with my hair twisted all over my head, staring into the mirror as I watched everything unfold behind me.
She was with another woman. She had deserted me.

I must have looked quite forlorn as one of the floor sweepers brought me a large glass of (fabulous) red and some peanuts to drown my sorrows. I spent the next half hour drinking, trying to piece together what had gone so wrong in our relationship.

Soon I noticed that I couldn't feel my cheeks* (a great tool in determining your level of soberness, or lack thereof, which I learnt from my brother). She hadn't seen the error of her ways and come crawling back, and I was offered another glass. I pinched my cheeks again to double check and politely declined. I didn't want her to see me like that and surely she'd come back to me soon.

She didn't. Worse. I had been palmed off to someone else. Someone I hadn't met. Someone who'd never massaged my head the way she used to**.
This person had not been there for my pre-haircut interview. She had not listened to my whining about wanting to grow my hair, but not being able to change my GHD*** obsessive ways. She did not put efforts into seducing me into having my hair cut by her - she just went straight for the scissors.

I sat there. Petrified.

It took 43 minutes until it was over... Until I dared look in the mirror.

She had taken off my cape but she had forgotten something! Where was the final product that is always lovingly applied to a finished hairdo one can be proud of?? WHERE WAS MY MIRROR TO LOOK AT THE BACK?!?!

She just smiled and said "Done"!

What do you mean DONE?!

Are you seeing what I am seeing??! FRIZZ?? Its RAINING outside!! I have a long journey ahead of me and you are sending me away with PRE-RAIN FRIZZ?!??

I couldn't speak. I couldn't argue. Well, I never argue with hairdressers anyway because they have scissors and access to my hair, but I wanted to!

I paid the exorbitant amount and left. I am NEVER going there again. NEVER. This time I am sticking to it.


Although, I really did think that red was fabulous...






* Yes - after one glass. I don't drink often, so shoot me.

** By "used to" I am of course referring to the one time.

*** If I have to explain GHD to you, you need help.

Winter attire, heating and my left hand

Today I am the coldest person on Earth, or at the very least, in my office.

The hand which I keep on top of my desk for things like moving the mouse from one web page to another, and sometimes to answer my phone, is going blue. My other hand is kept under the desk - no, not for funny business, but because there is a heater under there that has all the power to warm one hand, that being my left hand because it is more special than my right.

You would think that after suffering through 24 winters (minus about 3 whilst living in qld - they can't really be counted, and one which I merrily skipped away from and enjoyed a summer in Italy instead, this resulted in doom but thats a story for another day) I would be well accustomed to dressing for the colder months. This is not so.

Actually I cannot think of one female I know who does know how to get through winter without freezing. I mean, we can stay indoors next to the heater and have a jumper and trackies on over the weekend, but does this really count?

Not in THIS argument.

Definitely so if Pending-Husband is telling me I should wear more clothes instead of having the heater on full. Pending-Husband - Do you want me to be uncomfortable IN MY OWN HOUSE (read: not my own house, but close enough)?! Appalling.

Where was I? Oh yes. Coldness and women.
I look around my office at the ladies I work with for a bit of winter clothing inspiration, and I get none. Besides adding tights, everything we are wearing could be worn in summer. WHY?! Going shopping doesn't help. You can buy a big coat to keep you warm but you aren't going to wear it at your desk - thats madness. I am currently wearing gloves inside and I feel like a lunatic. These are outside items. What are we meant to wear INSIDE??

Coldness and men doesn't seem to exist, except in dire circumstances. Case in point I just spoke to one who is on his way to sit outside in the icy air (and I mean ICY). I do not see him wearing more layers, in fact it appears he is wearing LESS. I confront him about this and he shrugs and says "Eh.. I'll be right" while I sit at my desk, feet on the heater, gloves on, shivering like a mental patient*.

What do they know that we don't? And why wont they share?!

My left hand is getting far too cold on top of the desk whilst I type, so I am going to put it back under the desk.

Ladies - Any suggestions for winter attire that is warming, but doesn't make me look abominable snowman-esque?
Men - Want to let us in on your little secret?


Love,

x


*Mum - YES I am wearing other clothes as well. Beat you to it.

Vows? ALREADY?!

Why do all things Wedding need to be organised SO FREAKIN' EARLY?
Is the world going to end?

Unlikely.

So why act like it?


Our celebrant informed us a few months back that he would need to see the draft copy of our timeline for the ceremony by the end of June at the latest, including our vows.

June. Our wedding is not until JANUARY.

So being the Mavericks that we are, we rolled our eyes, waited until it was two weeks past the deadline (hardcore - I know) and then did them anyway.

We decided to just find some simple and straight-to-the-point sentences online - big mistake.
Most of the recommended lines read something like this:

"Today I take you as my husband, from this day forth we will share a lifetime of eternal, immeasurable love"

BLEGH!! Do people actually say these things to each other??!

I would never use the words "eternal" or "immeasurable" when I am describing my love for my partner.
It sounds like we are performing a scene from your average midday Soap Opera.

So many others involve promises to be faithful (well, thats a-given isn't it? Why mention the fact that you wont cheat, on your wedding day?), promises to be there through sickness, tears and death (a little morbid, isn't it?).

Why do so many people bore everyone at their weddings by bringing up the obvious?

For Goodness sakes its a wedding! Is it not meant to be about celebrating? And love? And all things happy?

My view is that if you need to bring up faithfulness and the fact you'll stick by them through the bad times, you're missing the point. They shouldn't need to be said.

Relax, smile, say it from the heart (without sickening everyone with love-mush, don't get me started on that).


What are your views on these sorts of promises?

x